real slim shady

May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here..

Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
and started whoopin her ass worse than before
they first were divorce, throwin her over furniture (Ahh!)
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
And Dr. Dre said... nothing you idiots!
Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
Feminist women love Eminem {*vocal turntable:
chigga chigga chigga*} "Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walkin around grabbin his you-know-what
Flippin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though!"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse, than what's goin on in your parents' bedrooms
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Discovery Channel don't they?
"We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals
who cut other people open like cantaloupes {*SLURP*}
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
{*EWWW!*} But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes

Chorus: Eminem (repeat 2X)

I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
please stand up, please stand up?

[Eminem]
Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records;
well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears?
Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
and hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
You little bitch, put me on blast on MTV
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!"
I should download her audio on MP3
and show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD {*AHHH!*}
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
so I have been sent here to destroy you {*bzzzt*}
And there's a million of us just like me
who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me
who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
and just might be the next best thing but not quite me!

Chorus

[Eminem]
I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin you
things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
in front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
and whether you like to admit it {*ERR*} I just shit it
better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty
I'll be the only person in the nursin home flirting
Pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with Jergens
And I'm jerkin but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin
He could be workin at Burger King, spittin on your onion rings
{*HACH*} Or in the parkin lot, circling
Screaming "I don't give a fuck!"
with his windows down and his system up
So, will the real Shady please stand up?
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

Chorus 2X

[Eminem]
Ha ha
Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
Fuck it, let's all stand up

Without me

[Intro - Obie Trice]
"Obie Trice. Real Name, No Gimmicks"
[Intro]
Two trailer park girls go round the outside;
round the outside, round the outside
scratches
Two trailer park girls go round the outside;
round the outside, round the outside
scratches

Guess who's back
Back again
Shady's back
Tell a friend
Guess who's back, guess who's back,
guess who's back, guess who's back,
guess who's back, guess who's back,
guess who's back... {Eminem hums}

[Verse 1: Eminem]
I've created a monster,
cause nobody wants to see Marshall no more
They want Shady, I'm chopped liver (huh?)
Well if you want Shady, this is what I'll give ya
A little bit of weed mixed with some hard liquor
Some vodka that'll jump start my heart quicker
than a shock when I get shocked at the hospital
by the doctor when I'm not co-operating
When I'm rockin the table while he's operatin (hey!!)
You waited this long, now stop debating
Cause I'm back, I'm on the rag and ovu-lating
I know that you got a job Ms. Cheney
but your husband's heart problem's complicating
So the FCC won't let me be
or let me be me, so let me see
They try to shut me down on MTV
But it feels so empty, without me
So, come on and dip, rum on your lips
Fuck that, cum on your lips, and some on your tits
And get ready, cause this shit's about to get heavy
I just settled all my lawsuits,
FUCK YOU DEBBIE!

[Chorus: Eminem]
Now this looks like a job for me
So everybody, just follow me
Cause we need a little, controversy
Cause it feels so empty, without me
I said this looks like a job for me
So everybody, just follow me
Cause we need a little, controversy
Cause it feels so empty, without me

[Verse 2: Eminem]
Little Hellions, kids feelin rebellious
Embarrassed their parents still listen to Elvis
They start feelin like prisoners helpless
'til someone comes along on a mission and yells BITCH!!!
A visionary, vision of scary
Could start a revolution, pollutin the airwaves A rebel,
so just let me revel and bask
in the fact that I got everyone kissin my ass {smak}
And it's a disaster, such a castastrophe
for you to see so damn much of my ass; you asked for me?
Well I'm back, na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na
{bzzt} Fix your damn antenna tune it in and
then I'm gonna enter in,
in the front of your skin like a splinter
The center of attention, back for the winter
I'm interesting,
the best thing since wrestling
Investing in your kid's ears and nesting
{bzzt} Testing, attention please
Feel the tension, soon as someone mentions me
Here's my ten cents, my two cents is free
A nuisance, who sent? You sent for me?


[Chorus]

[Verse 3: Eminem]
A-tisket a-tasket, I go tit for tat with
anybody who's talkin this shit, that shit
Chris Kirkpatrick, you can get your ass kicked
worse than them little Limp Bizkit bastards
And Moby? You can get stomped by Obie
You thirty-six year old baldheaded fag, blow me
You don't know me, you're too old, let go It's over,
nobody listen to techno
Now let's go, just gimme the signal
I'll be there with a whole list full of new insults
I been dope, suspenseful with a pencil
ever since Prince turned himself
into a symbol {knife slices}
But sometimes man the shit just seems
everybody only wants to discuss me
So this must mean I'm dis-gus-ting
But it's just me, I'm just obscene
No I'm not the first king of controversy
I am the worst thing since Elvis Presley
to do black music so selfishly
and used it to get myself wealthy
(Hey!!) There's a concept that works
Twenty million other white rappers emerge
But no matter how many fish in the sea
It'll be so empty, without me


[Chorus]

{*Eminem sings this twice:
"Chem-hie-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la"*}

[Eminem] Kids!

The Way I am

[Eminem]
Whatever..
Dre, just let it run
Aiyyo turn the beat up a little bit
Aiyyo.. this song is for anyone.. fuck it
Just shut up and listen, aiyyo..

I sit back with this pack of Zig Zags and this bag
of this weed it gives me the shit needed to be
the most meanest MC on this -- on this Earth
And since birth I've been cursed with this curse to just curse
And just blurt this berserk and bizarre shit that works
And it sells and it helps in itself to relieve
all this tension dispensin these sentences
Gettin this stress that's been eatin me recently off of this chest
and I rest again peacefully (peacefully)..
but at least have the decency in you
to leave me alone, when you freaks see me out
in the streets when I'm eatin or feedin my daughter
to not come and speak to me (speak to me)..
I don't know you and no,
I don't owe you a mo-therfuck-in thing
I'm not Mr. N'Sync, I'm not what your friends think
I'm not Mr. Friendly, I can be a prick
if you tempt me my tank is on empty (is on empty)..
No patience is in me and if you offend me
I'm liftin you 10 feet (liftin you 10 feet).. in the air
I don't care who is there and who saw me destroy you
Go call you a lawyer, file you a lawsuit
I'll smile in the courtroom and buy you a wardrobe
I'm tired of all you (of all you)..
I don't mean to be mean but that's all I can be is just me

[Chorus: Eminem]

And I am, whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news everyday I am
Radio won't even play my jam
Cause I am, whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news everyday I am
I don't know it's just the way I am

[Eminem]
Sometimes I just feel like my father, I hate to be bothered
with all of this nonsense it's constant
And, "Oh, it's his lyrical content -
- the song 'Guilty Conscience' has gotten such rotten responses"
And all of this controversy circles me
and it seems like the media immediately
points a finger at me (finger at me)..
So I point one back at 'em, but not the index or pinkie
or the ring or the thumb, it's the one you put up
when you don't give a fuck, when you won't just put up
with the bullshit they pull, cause they full of shit too
When a dude's gettin bullied and shoots up his school
and they blame it on Marilyn (on Marilyn).. and the heroin
Where were the parents at? And look where it's at
Middle America, now it's a tragedy
Now it's so sad to see, an upper class ci-ty
havin this happenin (this happenin)..
then attack Eminem cause I rap this way (rap this way)..
But I'm glad cause they feed me the fuel that I need for the fire
to burn and it's burnin and I have returned

[Chorus]

[Eminem]
I'm so sick and tired of bein admired
that I wish that I would just die or get fired
and dropped from my label and stop with the fables
I'm not gonna be able to top on "My Name is.."
And pigeon-holed into some pop-py sensation
to cop me rotation at rock'n'roll stations
And I just do not got the patience (got the patience)..
to deal with these cocky caucasians who think
I'm some wigger who just tries to be black cause I talk
with an accent, and grab on my balls, so they always keep askin
the same fuckin questions (fuckin questions)..
What school did I go to, what hood I grew up in
The why, the who what when, the where, and the how
'til I'm grabbin my hair and I'm tearin it out
cause they drivin me crazy (drivin me crazy).. I can't take it
I'm racin, I'm pacin, I stand and I sit
And I'm thankful for ev-ery fan that I get
But I can't take a SHIT, in the bathroom
without someone standin by it
No I won't sign your autograph
You can call me an asshole I'm glad

[Chorus (except change first word "And" to "Cause")]

Forgot About Dre

[Dr. Dre]
Y'all know me, still the same O.G., but I been low key
Hated on by most these niggaz wit no cheese, no deals and no G's
No wheels and no keys, no boats no snowmobiles, and no ski's
Mad at me cause I can finally afford to provide my family wit groceries
Got a crib wit a studio and it's all full of tracks to add to the wall full of plaques
Hangin up in the office in back of my house like trophies
Did y'all think I'ma let my dough freeze? Hoe please
You better bow down on both knees
Who you think taught you to smoke trees?
Who you think brought you the oldies?
Eazy-E's, Ice Cube's, and D.O.C's
The Snoop D-O-double-G's
and the group that said mother-"Fuck Tha Police"
Gave you a tape full of dope beats
to bump when you stroll through in your hood
And when your album sales wasn't doin too good
who's the Doctor they told you to go see?
Y'all better listen up closely
All you niggaz that said that I turned pop, or The Firm flopped
Y'all are the reason that Dre ain't been gettin no sleep
so FUCK Y'ALL, all of y'all; if y'all don't like me, BLOW ME!
Y'all are gonna keep fuckin around wit me
and turn me back to the old me

Chorus: Eminem (repeat 2X)
Nowadays everybody wanna talk like they got somethin to say
but nothin comes out when they move their lips;
just a bunch of gibberish
And motherfuckers act like they forgot about Dre

[Eminem]So what do you say to somebody you hate (What?)
Or anyone tryin to bring trouble your way?
Wanna resolve things in a bloodier way? (YUP)
Then just study a tape of N.W.A.!
One day I was walkin by, wit a Walkman on, when I caught a guy
give me an awkward eye (What you lookin at?)
And strangled him off in the parkin lot, wit his Karl Kani
I don't give a fuck if it's dark or not
I'm harder than me tryin to park a Dodge
when I'm drunk as fuck
Right next to a humungous truck in a two-car garage {*CRUNCH*}
Hoppin out wit two broken legs, tryin to walk it off
"Fuck you too bitch, call the cops!"
I'ma kill you and them loud ass motherfuckin barkin dogs
And when the cops came through me and Dre stood next to a burnt down house
Wit a can full of gas and a hand full of matches
And still weren't found out (RIGHT HERE)
From here on out it's the Chronic 2
Startin today and tomorrow's the new
And I'm still loco enough
To choke you to death wit a Charleston Chew

{*Eminem's vocal turntable*}
Slim shady - hotter then a set of twin babies
in a Mercedes Benz wit the windows up
when the temp goes up to the mid 80's
Callin men ladies; sorry Doc but I been crazy
There's no way that you can save me
It's okay, go with him Hailey (Da-da?)

Chorus

[Dr. Dre]
If it was up to me, you muh'fuckers would stop comin up to me
wit your hands out lookin up to me, like you want somethin free
When my last CD was out, you wasn't bumpin me
But now that I got this little company
Everybody wanna come to me like it was some disease
But you won't get a crumb from me
Cause I'm from the streets of (Compton, Compton)
I told em all - all them little gangstas
Who you think helped mold 'em all?
Now you wanna run around talkin bout guns like I ain't got none
What you think I sold 'em all?
Cause I stay well off
Now all I get is hate mail all day sayin Dre fell off
What cause I been in the lab wit a pen and a pad
tryin to get this damn label off?
I ain't havin that; this is the millennium of Aftermath
It ain't gon' be nothin after that
So give me one more platinum plaque and fuck rap!
You can have it back
So where's all the Madd Rappers at?
It's like a jungle in this habitat
But all you savage cats, know that I was strapped wit gats
when you were cuddlin a Cabbage Patch

Lose yourself

Look, if you had one shot, one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted
In one moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip

Verse 1:

His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgetting
What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud
He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out
He's chokin, how everybody's jokin now
The clocks run out, times up over, bloah!
Snap back to reality, Oh there goes gravity
Oh, there goes Rabbit, he choked
He's so mad, but he won't give up that
Is he? No
He won't have it , he knows his whole back city's ropes
It dont matter, he's dope
He knows that, but he's broke
He's so stacked that he knows
When he goes back to this mobile home, thats when it's
Back to the lab again yo
This whole rap shit
He better go capture this moment and hope it don't pass him

Chorus:(X2)

You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo

Verse 2:

The souls escaping, through this hole that is gaping
This world is mine for the taking
Make me king, as we move toward a, new world order
A normal life is borin, but superstardoms close to post mortem
It only grows harder, only grows hotter
He blows us all over these hoes is all on him
Coast to coast shows, he's known as the globetrotter
Lonely roads, God only knows
He's grown farther from home, he's no father
He goes home and barely knows his own daughter
But hold your nose cause here goes the cold water
His hoes don't want him no more, he's cold product
They moved on to the next schmoe who flows
He nose dove and sold nada
So the soap opera is told and unfolds
I suppose it's old partner, but the beat goes on
Da da dum da dum da da

Chorus: (X2)

You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime

Verse 3:

No more games, I'ma change what you call rage
Tear this mothafuckin roof off like 2 dogs caged
I was playin in the beginnin, the mood all changed
I been chewed up and spit out and booed off stage
But I kept rhymin and stepwritin the next cypher
Best believe somebody's payin the pied piper
All the pain inside amplified by the fact
That I can't get by with my 9 to 5
And I can't provide the right type of life for my family
Cuz man, these goddam food stamps don't buy diapers
And it's no movie, theres no Mekhi Phifer, this is my life
And these times are so hard and it's getting even harder
Tryin to feed and water my seed, plus
See dishonnor caught up between bein a father and a prima donna
Baby mama drama screamin on and
Too much for me to wanna
Stay in one spot, another damn monotony's
Gotten to me, to the point I'm like a snail
I've got to formulate a plot or I end up in jail or shot
Success is my only mothafuckin option, failure's not
Mom, I love you, but this trailer's got to go
I cannot grow old in Salems lot
So here I go its my shot.
Feet fail me not cuz maybe the only opportunity that I got

Chorus: (X3)

You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime

You can do anything you set your mind to, man
Look, if you had one shot, one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted
In one moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip

his opportunity comes once in a lifetime

You can do anything you set your mind to, man